Nate Hatfield
Nate Hatfield added 9 comments to Fey Heritage: Chapter 1
Feb 4, 2014
Editing
Book Cover for Fey Heritage
Comment

A bit of an awkward way to start, as the reader could guess it's a name but has absolutely no context. Is name being shouted joyfully? Excitedly? In terror? I suggest starting with a concrete......

...“Rhiannon!”
Nate Hatfield
Nate Hatfield added 1 comments to At Peace: Chapter 1
Jan 7, 2014
Comment

this will be changed from "dusty bones" to "remains"

...dusty bones